Young, Breastfeeding, and Black

Once I discovered I was pregnant, there was no question. I knew I wanted to breastfeed my son. At the time, it felt like the most natural choice. Though I'd read about doing so in my pregnancy books and had seen glimpses of mothers nursing their babies on television, I never witnessed this growing up.

In my immediate family (and possibly extended as well), I was the first in recent generations to breastfeed. I was given formula by my mother and my grandmother opted to do the same with her. Just the mention of breastfeeding brought on an barrage of opinions & unsolicited advice. People made it seem like a painful and unnecessary inconvenience.

I had already scared my family when I announced I would birth my baby at home with a midwife. Though they had grown accustomed to most of my "radical" choices from childhood, this made them nervous. Breastfeeding was another one to add to the list that also included me deciding to become a vegetarian at the age of 15. Everything we ate up until that point, walked or swam before it made it to our dinner table.

Then a year later, I decided to be #teamnatural (before they had a term for it). I did the big chop, cutting off all of my permed hair while in 10th grade. I came back to school after a weekend trip to the barbershop, rocking a very short afro. Meanwhile all of my peers wanted to wear their hair the same way the late, great R&B artist Aaliyah wore her’s. This was during the "One in a Million" era. To say it was a challenging period would be an understatement. So by the time I was preparing for childbirth in my early 20s, I felt very confident on my holistic health path.

Once my beautiful prince was born, I quickly realized the issue for me wasn't if I would nurse him but how. I didn't know how to properly latch. In other words, I was only putting the tip of my nipple in his mouth. It was very uncomfortable and he struggled to get enough milk which made him cry a lot.

If that wasn't enough drama, I didn't know certain foods would make him gassy. In my effort to amp up my diet by eating nutrient dense foods, I ate lots of broccoli, kale, and legumes like chickpeas and black beans for protein. My poor child's stomach couldn't handle it and this also made him cry nonstop.

Finally, a friend gave me the phone number for a lactation consultant (who also happened to be a woman of color) located in Harlem. This angel heard how distraught I was and came to my home the same day. She explained how to latch, brought me a free breast pump and showed me how to use it and store my milk. She even provided me with a list of foods to avoid that could cause gas. When I tell you this woman was a lifesaver, I truly mean it.

The first three days after birth, I cried as much as my son did. I felt helpless and inadequate as a mother. All of my loved ones (including his father) encouraged me to try formula instead. I'm so thankful I was able to stay the course. That one decision boosted my confidence as a new mother in so many ways.

I knew many people would also question my choice to not vaccinate my son and raise him as a vegan and didn't care. I was able to ignore the stares from strangers when feeding him in public and the shock from family members when I continued nursing him after he turned one years old.

I breastfed him until he was 18 months old and only stopped because I had to return to work. I wish I could have continued but I only had a not so clean, public restroom to pump and nowhere to refrigerate the milk after.

In spite of the challenges I faced in the end, I am forever grateful for the bond this helped to foster between my son and I. I encourage every expectant/new mother I work with to breastfeed. As women of color, we need to hear about the experiences of other black and brown women. We need to see more images of this in the media as well.

We have unique cultural, historical, & economic barriers that can make doing so harder for us. I'm so thankful that my lactation consultant was an African American woman, who understood these things. The journey to successful breastfeeding isn't the same for everyone. Working with us requires cultural sensitivity and knowledge of the unique set of obstacles many women of color face in the United States.

My story set a new precedent for my immediate family. It inspired my younger sister to breastfeed her three children too. This will create a ripple effect for our children's children and future generations to come. I hope others will read this and decide to nurse their babies or seek help if they're struggling to do so, rather than give up.

You are not alone. You have an entire community of sisters here to support you. If you have any questions or need additional resources, feel free to ask in the comment section below. You're also welcome to share your breastfeeding experience too!